Help me vote for Hillary (no really. . .please)

She looks so happy here. . .come on. . .help me out.
“You know you want to vote for me.”

I want to vote for Hillary.  I swear I do.  While the alternative simply sucks, I want to be a part of the generation of people that flips the lever towards the direction of our first woman president.

Yes, I am a republican.  I have voted republican in every single presidential election in my lifetime (except the first time I got to vote–I threw my vote away on Ross Perot).  I have always tended to flip the lever (or fill in the circle) for the candidate with the (in my opinion) more sound fiscal policy.  As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become far more moderate in my personal politics, but for the most part I’ve still managed to vote conservatively.

This time, I really want to cross party lines.  I really want to vote liberal.  There are a litany of reasons that I want to vote for Hillary, but there are several things keeping me from doing so.

This is a legitimate plea to my liberal friends (and liberals I don’t know yet):  please help me get over these obstacles so I can vote for Hillary:

  1. Benghazi:. I don’t know the whole story, and I won’t pretend that anyone actually does.  Here’s what I do know:  Clinton lied about a youtube.com video being the cause for the attack.  Clinton sat in meetings for a couple of hours while the fight was happening wasting valuable time while our troops on the ground were being killed.  These are two huge strikes for me.  Huge.  Help me get over this–someone–please. (Source:  factcheck.org)
  2. Stolen Items:  I don’t know any other way to ask for help on this one.  The number varies from source to source, but the Clintons took somewhere between $50,000 and $100,000 in gifts and items when they left the White House. That’s just thievery. What am I missing on this one?  Returning it/making amends. . .I get it.  The fact of the matter is that it happened.  The fact of the matter is that the woman running to be my president took things that didn’t belong to her.  Help me get over this one too.
  3. The Obama’s trashed her:  I don’t care to call this one, “politics.”  Maybe this is part of the problem with our election process, but when Obama first ran against Hillary he made it very clear she wasn’t trustworthy, going as far as saying, “She’ll say whatever it takes to get elected.”  I remember that.  I remember that clearly.  Why has that perception changed?  What has happened in the last 8 years that makes her completely trustworthy…all of a sudden?  Trump being a hot dumpster fire doesn’t make Hillary trustworthy.  I’m struggling with this one too.
  4. Emails/Personal Server:  I’m having perhaps the most difficulty with this one.  This is the one that I truly struggle mightily with.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m bothered by the other three, but I don’t even remotely understand this one.  I can’t buy that the Secretary of State thought that a personal e-mail server was kosher.  To take that a step further, if she was sure this was an, “ok” thing, why did everyone from the POTUS to her own daughter have code names?  Does that feel dirty to anyone but me?  If you don’t feel like you have something to hide, why go to all of the trouble of concealing who you’re talking to?  That’s not all though:  I have a dear friend who is in military intelligence.  This person has clerarance and if he even thought about doing the same thing that Hillary did, he’d be in Leavenworth. Take one look at General Petraeus–one (singular) charge of mishandling classified information (and he “mishandled” it to someone else’s with top secret clearance), and he was completely vilified.  Why the double standard?  Why are we as a country less concerned with the woman running for president than we are with someone who would have ultimately reported to her?  It’s not, “just e-mails.”  Saying that makes this less than what it is.  She’s still being actively investigated by the FBI.  Let’s say I vote for her. . .and she wins. . .am I really ultimately just voting for her VP?  I know nothing about him.  To me, this is a very big deal, and I need to get past this one before I can flip the lever in her direction.

I understand her appeal.  She’s appealing to me.  I like most of her social policies.  I agree with a lot of the things she stands for.  I’m not good with our current healthcare, but at least we have a starting point.  I’m not going to let the minor things I agree or disagree with sway me on this vote.  I loathe what Trump says, but I am struggling with what she does.  If I can get over these things–logically, I’ll sprint to the voting booth for her.  If I can’t get over these things, I legitimately don’t know what I’ll do at this point.

Anyone got any ideas?

Affordable? Care Act


Pandora’s box:  opened.

As I sit to write this, I want to make a few things clear:

  • I work in healthcare as a mid to high level administrator
  • The opinions in this piece are mine.  They do not represent the opinions of my employer, anyone I work with, or the guy down the street who has a Trump sign in his yard.
  • This isn’t about politics.  This is about healthcare.
  • I love what I do.  I love what I do because I know that my job makes a difference in the health of our patients.

An important distinction needs to be made up front.  There is a difference between healthcare (doctors, hospitals, clinics. . .) and insurance.  The entire system is systemically broken because money and people are involved.  Money and people will always be involved, so to a certain extent, I believe the system will always be broken in a way.

THE “VALUE” OF HEALTHCARE

Let’s go back a bit in history.  Let’s go back to a time when doctors traveled on horseback or horse-drawn carriage to farmhouses to treat sick patients.  The doctor brought his black bag and stethoscope and performed his/her service and received a fee.  Many times, this fee wasn’t cash.  Why?  Because the service was not, “affordable.”  It was still paid for.  The fee was paid in labor, goods, promise of future monies. . .  The point is that it was paid for. It was paid for because it was valuable.  It was necessary.  Not everyone had access to care, and not everyone who did have access didn’t have conventional methods of paying, but they still paid.

Today, things are different.  As a country, we have determined that none can be turned away from an accredited hospital based on their ability to pay.  We have established, “free” clinics for those who can’t afford medical care.  We have government programs that aid those who fall into a certain income range which help or completely cover healthcare.  We have federally qualified community health centers to help ease the medical burden in lower income areas. . .

I’m not getting into the argument of whether person “a” deserves healthcare because of their ability to pay, but I feel like we have made healthcare worthless to some people.  By making it free, and assigning a value of zero to healthcare services, we have removed the worth from the service.  Not for everyone.  But for many.  I only point this out to state that there is a value to healthcare.  It is worth something.  It is worth “paying” for.  That’s not up for debate to me.

HOW WE BROKE THE SYSTEM

Imagine with me (if you will) that you’re hungry.  You pull into your local fast food chain, walk inside, tell them that you’re hungry, they ask a few questions to determine your hunger level, and hand you a bag with food and you leave.  You look inside the bag with some surprise to see what they gave you, you eat it, your hunger is cured.  Three weeks later you get a bill in the mail for the food they gave you (that they decided you needed) and you’re now expected to pay it.  “Wait just one minute,” you exclaim, “I mean sure, I ate the hamburger, and the fries, and the ice cream sunday, but I would have been just fine with just a hamburger.”  Now you’re irate.  You didn’t order that, and you don’t even think you needed all that. . .but now what?  How long would that type of system last?  How long would fast food chains remain open?

Our current medical system isn’t all that different.  It’s the only industry that I can think of (please comment below if you can think of another) where you show up with a problem, are seen by a professional, are completely at their discretion for what you are charged, aren’t immediately told what you’re charged, and yet are expected to pay whatever bill you receive.  And hey–it gets even worse.  Often, you only get a number code with little or no description of what was performed along with the charge you’re now expected to pay.  Sure, you can go to a different doctor, but the process is generally the same.

You wouldn’t tolerate this in any other industry, but it is the accepted practice in medicine.

I’m not advocating a mass protest against the industry’s fee for service algorithm, I’m just pointing out one area where I believe we can make massive improvements.

AFFORDABLE CARE ACT

Is it though?  Is it really affordable?

Some folks have access to healthcare in a way they never have before.  This?  This is a good thing.  Some folks can’t afford care and have been priced out of even basic preventative healthcare.  This?  This is a bad thing.  And, it gets even worse.  For folks in the latter group (who can’t afford healthcare) who decide not to take a plan in the marketplace, they are taxed for their inability to afford the “affordable” plan.  (Look, I get it…you want to have a semantic debate over whether it’s a tax or a penalty or a fee. . .but that’s not the point is it?  The point is to get affordable healthcare into the hands of all so why are we penalizing people who can’t afford it?  Call it whatever you want to–it’s still an unaffordable fee for those who can’t afford healthcare.  This?  This is an insult.)

There are some good things about Obamacare:

  • Improved access to basic healthcare
  • Improved access to basic (and advanced) healthcare plans
  • Improved guidelines for care
  • Standardization of visit types
  • The start of data mining for health outcomes

I’m sure there are some more good things about it, and I don’t pretend to have listed them all.  I just want it to be plainly known that I don’t think it is all bad.

IT’S MOSTLY BAD THOUGH

I don’t believe people should be forced to buy a healthcare plan through the federal government’s marketplace.  Let’s not be confused about a simple fact:  you have to have healthcare in America if you don’t want to pay a tax/fee/penalty.  That’s not, “free healthcare.”  Not even close.  Let’s stop calling it free or affordable.  If it isn’t affordable for all, then it isn’t affordable.  That’s basic english.

The plans are confusing.  I’ve spoken to multiple patients and family members who legitimately didn’t understand what they were signing up for.  This?  This is bad.

The plans aren’t equal.  The benefits allowed from one plan to another and from one company to another aren’t equal.  Maybe this should be included in the area of “confusing” but there are many folks who get to the healthcare exchange and believe that by clicking on the most economical plan, they now have free universal healthcare.  Why??  Because that’s what they hear in the media.  That’s what gets votes.  This isn’t true.  In this country, there is no such thing currently as free universal-cover-it-all-whenever-whatever-you-want healthcare.

“Preventative medicine” doesn’t mean what you think it means.  This is important as preventative medicine is what’s truly, “free” in most plans.  Zero co-pay, zero co-insurance.  Preventative medicine/Annual Visit is not a time for you to bring a laundry list of complaints to your primary care provider.  It’s not a time to save up all of your potential medical concerns and cover them in one hour.  It’s a time where your doctor will ask you a basic set of questions, run some standard blood tests and if all comes back normal–see you in a year.  As soon as you start to talk about your sleep troubles, your occasional indigestion, your intermittent knee pain…it’s no longer a preventative medicine visit, and thusly no longer considered a, “free” visit.  You don’t have to agree with that.  You don’t have to think that’s right or wrong.  That’s not why I bring it up.  I bring it up as a point of clarification.

It’s too political.  At some point, the healthcare discussion stopped being about actual healthcare and instead both sides decided to use it as a primary method to take shots at the other side.  Stop it.  Keep it about health.  Keep it about patients.  Keep it about what’s best for the patient, not what’s best for the party.

The government is involved.  Ronald Regan once said, “Government is not the solution to the problem. Government is the problem,” and I tend to agree.  Government programs aren’t flawless.  In fact, and in many instances, they are the most flawed programs in this country.  Giving healthcare to the government to manage is a mistake.  How many policy makers really understand healthcare?  How many policy makers really understand what happens in an exam room, an operating theatre, an emergency department?  1%?  Why are they making the decisions?

The emergency room isn’t your primary care provider.  Hospitals are expensive.  Hell, all healthcare is expensive, but in the hierarchy of costs, hospital care is at the top–and there isn’t a close second.  The emergency room should be reserved for emergencies.  Obstructed airways, unconscious/unresponsive persons, trauma, etc.  Not, a cold, a sore throat, a hangnail, tooth pain, twisted ankles, etc.  The cost of using the emergency room is exponentially higher than using a primary care provider.  At some point, it became acceptable to go to the emergency room for whatever ailed you and this has been one of the highest drivers in the increasing cost of health care.

HOW WE FIX IT

Again, this is my opinion.  These are my thoughts.  These are not the thoughts of a political party–these are the thoughts of a guy who cares deeply about patient care.

Firstly, get rid of the insulting tax/penalty/fee.  If you decide you don’t want to pay for healthcare (as many healthy individuals have decided for one reason or another), you shouldn’t be penalized for it.  If a family of four above the poverty line but still in a range where healthcare isn’t affordable decide to do without health insurance, they shouldn’t be taxed for making that decision.  That’s simple.  That’s easy.

Increased education.  We have no problem forcing students to learn about generals in the civil war in a high school civics class, but that in no way prepares them for the real world.  Healthcare education is something that people need to know.  What is healthcare?  What constitutes a visit?  What do you get?  What is excluded?  This needs to be taught and it needs to be learned before you need healthcare–then it’s too late.  You don’t want it in schools?  Ok.  Lets have seminars. . .educational sessions. . .whatever it takes.

Make it valuable.  Healthcare shouldn’t be an entitlement program.  We have removed the, “worth.”

Put healthcare professionals in charge of it.  Let doctors make the decisions.  Let healthcare professionals design the plan.  I promise you the plan will be better, more inclusive, and more cost effective than any government designed plan.

Make healthcare billing more transparent.  People should understand what they are being charged or what they could be charged prior to receiving the service.

Get rid of fee for service.  Now, this is already starting to occur and it is needed.  Badly.  When doctors (hospitals/systems) are compensated based on the service they perform, they are incentivized to perform more services.  It’s how they are paid.  The more, “things” they do, the more money they receive.  In contrast, we need a system based on patient population health.  Again, we are already moving in this direction.  Doctors need to be compensated based on keeping people out of the hospital, keeping people out of the emergency room–and this is coming.

Keep emergency rooms for emergencies.  Look, this is a tenuous line.  I understand that.  Some people have a very different  view of what is an emergency to them and I understand that–but there should be a disincentive for overutilization of the emergency department for individuals who incorrectly overutilize it.  Currently, none exists.  Costs continue to be driven up as people utilize the emergency room for primary care.

I DON’T HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS, AND NEITHER DOES ANYONE ELSE

This has to be an ongoing discussion.  What we have isn’t working, and it won’t ever work in its current state.  Stop clinging to it as a means of political party affiliation.  Until people from both political parties agree that its really only a start (not even a good start. . .just a start) we aren’t going to get anywhere.  I’m not saying your political party sucks because you support the current plan, nor am I saying your party is good because you disagree with the current plan. . .I’m saying the plan is bad and we need to fix it.

Stop.  Step back.  Take a real look at it.  Look at Medicare (which everyone agrees will be bankrupt in a matter of years), look at Medicaid (which is being accepted by fewer and fewer providers because of the bureaucratic red tape involved with it), take a look at the VA. . .all of these are the government’s response to, “health care.”  Do we really need more of that?  Do we really need more of the already broken systems that exist?

When you gotta go. . .

When you gotta go. . .

It was hot.  I had consumed a few $12 beers and the headlining act (Dierks Bentley) was about to take the stage.  I was surrounded in the bathroom line by the reddest red-necks in the greater Raleigh-Durham area.  Everyone around me had a lip full of Skoal, a cheek full of Red-Man, was wearing overalls, jeans with boots, button-down plaid, belt buckles the size of dinner plates, hats the size of watermelons, or a bit of all of the above.  Oh, and camo…all of the camo.

It was even hotter in the bathroom.  There’s something about the concrete floors, the cinderblock walls, and concrete ceilings, combined with the sweaty bodies and the constant water flow that turns the bathrooms at the amphitheater into some sort of hellish sauna.  If it’s 90 degrees outside, it is easily 115 in the bathroom.

I really had to pee.

After waiting in line and then waiting for my turn to stand shoulder to shoulder with other men who needed to relieve themselves in the same way, a spot opened up and as I made my way (eyes forward) to the trough, I heard a distinctively female giggle coming from behind me and I looked to see to women come laughing out of a stall.  I laughed.  Several other men laughed.  I didn’t think much of it.

I get it.  I do.  The lines to the women’s restroom were easily three times as long and these girls were comfortable enough (or just had to go badly enough) to run into the men’s room, take care of their business and rush out.  They didn’t spend any time gawking, there didn’t appear to be any wandering eyes, there certainly wasn’t any touching going on, and it wasn’t made to be any sort of, “production.”  It just seemed as though they had to go, and didn’t want to wait.

I didn’t feel violated.  I didn’t feel anything.  I went to the restroom and didn’t really think much about it until I sat down to write this.  That wasn’t the first time I had experienced this, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last (especially not at Walnut Creek).

My state (North Carolina) has a real problem with that.  So much so, that we now have a House Bill (HB-2) that requires men and women to use the bathroom that their birth certificate states they should use (if you are born a male, you use the men’s room and if you are born a female, you use the women’s room).

Allegedly, we need this law to protect our citizens.  Ok, I hear you.  But from what?  “I don’t want no man following my little girl into the bathroom and touching on her in the bathroom!”  I agree good sir or madam.  I agree completely.  We don’t need that.  But that’s never happened.  Not once.  We don’t have a single recorded report/alleged report in the state of North Carolina where that’s happened.  No-one has been charged with that.  No-one has been convicted of that.  Therefore, that’s a pretty silly reason to make a law.

“It’s not natural.  Men shouldn’t want to use the women’s room, and women don’t belong in the men’s room.”  Ok.  That’s fair.

When I was young and learning to use, “sir” and “ma’am” my mom and step-dad made me flash cards with men and women of all ages on them and cards would be shown to me and I would respond with, “sir” or “ma’am” appropriately.  I’d like to play that game now. . .with you.

In North Carolina, which bathroom should the following be required to use?6678734-3x2-940x627You said women’s room right?  because this individual’s birth certificate says female.  Ok that one was maybe tough.  Let’s try again. . .

dowling-focus-none-width-800                            If you didn’t say, “women’s room” you were wrong again. . .

569aba811f000023002160d5                I’m guessing you don’t want this man following your little girl into the women’s room either, but that’s what he would be required to do in NC, as this man was also born a woman.  Here, let’s try this another way…

gallery-1430943135-andreja   This supermodel?  She would be required to use the men’s room in my state.

gallery-1430943233-jazz  This pretty lady would too.  Born a man–men’s room only for her.

gallery-1430953913-leat  Finally!!  Women’s room!  Wait.  Nope. . .she gets to use the men’s restroom too.

gallery-1430943186-gigi  You getting the point yet?  Because this beauty is legally required to use the men’s room as well.

Is this what we want?  Is this the goal?  If it is, I think this brings a whole new set of problems.  How will you feel when one of the first three follow you, your daughter, your sister, your wife, or your mother into the women’s room?  How will you feel when any of the last four follow follow you, your son, your husband, your brother, your dad into the men’s room?

To me, this is much bigger than the “fear” of, “what could happen” in a bathroom (again, let’s keep in mind that it never has happened–I think if this is our path we should really consider legislation for which restroom Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster have to use–because, well, you never know).  This isn’t about that.  It’s about fear.  We are far too often afraid of what we don’t understand.  We don’t like it.  We don’t want to be associated with it.  That doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist though.  That doesn’t mean we don’t have to rationally address it.

I hate chemistry.  You could probably even argue that I’m afraid of it.  I don’t get to bury my head in the sand about it though.  It exists.  It’s very real.  And, should I live my life in a similar fashion to many of my fine North Carolinians, I could mix a bunch of household chemicals together all at once to get a super-chemical to clean my toilets and end up severely hurt. . .

While that parallel seems funny to some and outlandish to others, it isn’t a too far off comparison.  Transgenders/Transsexuals are people.  Real people.  With real feelings.  They are our neighbors, our co-workers, our friends, our waiters and waitresses, we worship with them, eat with them, and *gasp* use the bathroom with them too.  And most of the time, we don’t even realize it.  That’s the point.  That’s always been the point. You would be uncomfortable seeing any of the above walking into the bathroom they don’t “look” like they belong in, and they would be equally uncomfortable being required to enter said restroom.  So why make it an issue?  To put an even finer point on it, who is checking?  Should we have someone checking birth certificates?  Should we have someone inspecting genitals?

What makes us great is our differences.  We don’t all believe the same things, we don’t all worship the same way, we don’t all have the same taste in movies, and we aren’t all attracted to the same people.  So what?  While I personally believe that my taste in craft beer is superior to yours, that doesn’t make you less of a person in my eyes (no matter how delusional I think you may be).  That’s your choice.

I don’t understand the “T” in the LGBT.  I don’t.  Truly.  It doesn’t make sense to me.  I can’t wrap my head around it.  That doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.  That doesn’t mean I get to dictate the lives of those who do get it. . .those who live it.  In fact, I feel that it is my duty as a citizen to defend that right–to fight for the “T’s” (and every other letter of the alphabet for that matter).  My lack of understanding doesn’t mean that I get to have a lack compassion or support.

This isn’t even the part of the bill that bothers me the most.  Here it is, and if you haven’t read it, do so–it’s short:  h2v1.  My biggest problem lies in page 4, line 26 in the underlined word we added to the already existing language:  “biological.”  What this means is that prior to this bill, North Carolina law made it illegal to discriminate (in hiring practices) on the basis of sex.  Now, it is only illegal to discriminate (in hiring practices) on the basis of biological sex.  This is a very important distinction.  This means that while it is illegal to discriminate in the hiring process on the basis of birth certificate sex, it is not illegal to discriminate on the basis of identified sex.  So, if the top picture above applies for a job in North Carolina and supplies documentation stating he is a legal female, that person can be denied employment based on that fact alone.  Forget qualifications, forget ability, forget desire…you can tell this person, “we aren’t hiring you” without repercussion because of the way they dress or live their life.

In 1953 you could make the same kind of determinations based on the color of someone’s skin.  It dictated where they could go to school, where they could eat, where they could use the restroom. . .  But, in 1954, Brown V. The Board of Education ended segregation as we knew it in the United States.  Segregation based on skin color was wrong, and we as a people, we did something about it.  This is not at all different from where I’m standing.  Segregration based on race, religious creed, socioeconomic status, weight, age. . . is wrong.  We know that.  We know that deep down.  Is sexual orientation or gender identification any different?  If you think so, I’d challenge you to tell me why.

This bill is costing our state.  Numerous concerts, broadway shows, conventions, corporate expansions, and sporting events have already cancelled their planned appearances in my state because of this bill.  States and companies have told their residents and employees to skip trips to NC all together.  This is costing us revenue.  This is costing us opportunity after opportunity (I have my own feelings on the legitimacy of this approach, but that’s for another post), and it is costing us real dollars.

We are better than this bill.  We are better than this treatment of others.  It’s time to fight this with our mouths and our dollars.  I urge you if you are as outraged as I am to do something about it.  There are fantastic groups you can volunteer with or donate to and I urge you to do so.  Call your representatives.  Express your disdain.  Vote to change this if given a chance, and if not, vote out the people that said this law was ok.

I don’t now, nor will I ever care where you pee.  But that isn’t really the point is it?

My (nonpartisan) thoughts on the upcoming election. . .

My (nonpartisan) thoughts on the upcoming election. . .

Nonpartisan.  If you know me, you’ve already rolled your eyes at the thought that I’m going to be able to write this down the middle.  Here goes nothing:

I got hooked on HBO’s, “The Newsroom.”  A friend challenged me to watch the first episode several years ago, and I was immediately hooked.  In that first episode, the lead character is asked why, “America is the greatest country in the world.”  His response brought me chills, and still does.  The crux of his response was quite simply that, “it isn’t.”  America isn’t the greatest country in the world.

“It sure used to be… We stood up for what was right. We fought for moral reason. We passed laws, struck down laws, for moral reason. We waged wars on poverty, not on poor people. We sacrificed, we cared about our neighbors, we put our money where our mouths were and we never beat our chest. We built great, big things, made ungodly technological advances, explored the universe, cured diseases and we cultivated the world’s greatest artists AND the world’s greatest economy. We reached for the stars, acted like men. We aspired to intelligence, we didn’t belittle it. It didn’t make us feel inferior. We didn’t identify ourselves by who we voted for in the last election and we didn’t scare so easy.”

I’m old.  Not old-old.  But old enough to remember a time when I truly thought that America was the greatest country in the world.  I remember when pride in our country didn’t equate to being a redneck, gun-toting, muslim-hating, gay-bashing, bible-slinging, beer-swigging, country music blaring. . . well you get the point.  It seems as though now being proud to be, “all about #Merica” is some sort of negative thing.  How did we get here?  How did we get to a place where one of the world’s greatest superpowers has become a punch line to the jokes of the rest of the world.  And boy, we aren’t helping much.

In fact, this impending presidential election is without a doubt making things much worse.  Much, much worse.  This upcoming election will be highly contested.  There will be a litany of ads disparaging both parties (with very few actually talking about the “good” aspects of either candidate).  No matter what side of the election you’re on, is your choice really a good one?

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To my Republican friends:  the fact that your party can’t put up a candidate for the upcoming presidential election that doesn’t wipe the floor with Hillary is disgusting.  It shouldnt’ be close.

To my Democrat friends:  the fact that your party can’t put up a candidate for the upcoming presidental election that doesn’t wipe the floor with Trump is disgusting.  It shouldn’t be close.

No matter which side you support, do you truly believe this is the best that your party has to offer?  Do you truly believe your candidate is an accurate representation of you?  Do you truly believe your candidate is an accurate representation of this country?  Do you truly believe that your candidate represents the best this country has to offer?  Do you think that your candidate is the best American to represent us amongst the rest of the leaders in this world?

Throughout history, our presidents have represented the best of us (irrespective of what you think of the last several. . .).  They were always best of what our country had to offer.  Our presidents were our commanders.  Our presidents were real leaders.  They were there to lead us, not to be led by what’s best for corporations paying for their campaigns.  They led us against attackers both foreign and domestic.  They took an oath to preserve and protect the Constitution.  They desired what was best for us…each of us.

I don’t think Trump wants what’s best for me.  I don’t think Hillary does either.  I don’t believe this is the best we have to offer.  I think we can do so much better, I truly believe we deserve a much better representation of us…of, “We the people.”  We.  What will it take for us to move from an us/them mentality to a, “we” again?

We aren’t debating the issues.  We aren’t arguing about what will make this country better.  We aren’t building each other up the way our forefathers imagined.  We’ve come so far what our founding fathers imagined we would be.  I fear we haven’t gone in the right direction though.

My genuine fear is that this election will be so polarizing that irrespective of which candidate wins, one thing will be certain:  “we” all lose.

So, before you post (or yell) about how horrible the other guy or gal is, I’d simply ask you to look at your candidate and ask, “Is this really the best our country has to offer?”

I think an honest answer will be, “no.”  So when we’re faced with the realization that these candidates are not the best we have to offer, that this country is not as great as it once was (and no, I’m not pandering to the, “make America great again” crowd), and we are each faced with the stark realization that we are perhaps moving backwards as a nation. . .we are left with a simple choice:  continue down this separatist path of destruction, or embark on a brand new journey of America.

Our two-party system is broken.  This election is proof.  Our country is broken…just look around.  We can fix it though.  I truly believe we can.

 

 

The aforementioned clip–warning, there’s some strong language

 

 

Bloodline:  revisiting my train ride in Durango, CO

Bloodline:  revisiting my train ride in Durango, CO

“If you’ve never been to Durango, Colorado, you should go.  While you’re there, you really should take the train from Durango to Silverton.  It is a breathtaking train ride through the Colorado mountains on a small gauge rail.  You can even get a ticket in an open-air car!  It’s a great way to spend the day with your family.”

If someone tells you this, it means one of only a few things:

  • They hate you and they want you to die a slow death of boredom
  • They owe you one (i.e. You stole money from them, or you slept with their significant other, maybe even you were directly responsible for the death of a loved one)
  • They are, “that kind” of friend–you know the kind who dares you to eat the hottest pepper on earth?
  • They are simply sadistic and enjoy the suffering of others.

That’s it though.  Those are the only possible choices.  You see, no one, “enjoys” the train ride from Durango to Silverton.

I’m not sure I can paint an entirely accurate picture of it, but I’m going to try:  You board the train in Durango, Colorado.  It’s a really beautiful town and at the “base” of the town is the train station.  You have two options:  a covered car or an open air car.  With nice weather, the open air car seems like the natural choice.  What no one tells you is that it is a coal train, and selecting the open air car means that you’ll be covered in coal ash for the next three hours (one way).  By the grace of God, our tickets were in a closed compartment.  

The train moves slowly.  Very slowly.  It’s little more than a brisk walk.  The scenery for the first hour is really impressive, but you still have two more hours to go on this hellishly slow ride.  Delirium from boredom kicks in about an hour and one minute and when you arrive an hour and fifty nine minutes later it is surreal.  Truly.  When the train finally literally pulls to a screeching halt, people are already standing at the door to every car with a crazed look in their eyes.  When the conductor finally releases the throngs of people waiting (the people in the know that is), it is an all out sprint to a line of charter buses.  Why?  Because you can trade your return ticket on the train for a return ride on the charter bus (again, your friend that told you about this train ride certainly didn’t include this detail).  

Now, you’re not only stuck in a town that is quite literally a, “tourist trap” but you also have the train ride home to look forward to.  The folks left in Silverton aimlessly shop through a town that now exists for this purpose only.  We were all zombies–purchasing handfuls of worthless trinkets in the blind hopes that it would be a distraction on the three hour ride  back to Durango.

That’s the perfect analogy to Netflix’s series:  Bloodline.  As I type this, it’s on my television in the background.  I’m in the 8th hour of this colossal time suck.  The train to Silverton moved far more quickly than this show.  **Spoiler alert (but not really)** in the opening stages of this show, you learn that the family has killed the oldest brother and this is the backdrop for presumably every episode to come.  

At its core, the show is about a family that resides in the Florida Keys.  They own a hotel on the water, the hotel has a restaruant, scuba tours, fishing trips, and booze cruises.  

Everyone in this series except the mom appears to be an asshole.  Everyone.  Everyone is a snake in one way or another.  For some reason (yet to be determined), the three youngest children kill their older brother. After eight grueling hours, there is still no specific reason (although at this point, I could personally point to about 20 reasons they may ultimately decide to off the character), and they don’t truly seem to be moving towards any specific reason.  

That’s been the crux of this whole show so far though:  no real specific reason for anything.  It’s just interactions.   It just happens.  It’s like just watching the extended scenes from Lord of the Rings–you know. . .the scenes where they are just riding through the countryside?  Yeah, it’s like that…hours of just walking through the wilderness aimlessly.  

I really feel like this series was suggested to me by people who had also mistakenly endured it (on a recommendation) and now wanted to inflict the same punishment on my eyes and soul that had already been inflicted on them.  I get it.  I do.  You took the train, and now you want me to to take the train.  The cycle ends here.  I can’t under any circumstances recommend this to anyone else.  

Beyoncé: My worst show ever

Beyoncé:  My worst show ever

The crowd was pulsing.  It was packed.  I could have picked my feet up off the concrete floor and not fallen down.  We were all one sweaty mass.  One person swayed, we all swayed.  We were one giant multi-faced being.  Wide eyed.  Nine Inch Nails blared through the speakers.  “It comes down to this. . .”  We all sang in unison.

There was a white curtain from the ceiling to the floor of the stage–concealing everything behind.

The lights suddenly went out.  The music became eery.  Like a very dark choir. It was a minor key.  Everyone pushed a little closer to the stage.  We were all angry, but in a good way.  Angry in a way that we were about to experience a release. . .and we were only subdued by the fact that we knew a release was forthcoming.

Blinding light from behind the stage illuminated the whole room.  We all squinted.  There was a sole shadowed figure in the center of the stage.  Arms raised.  Fists clinched.  The bass shook the room.  Quarter notes at half time started shaking everything that wasn’t nailed down.

“He is the angel with the scabbed wings/Hard-drug face, want to power his nose/he will deflower the freshest crop/dry up all the wombs with his rock and roll sores/with his rock and roll sores.”

The curtain is immediately sucked up into the ceiling, a wall of sound pushed us all back, it was so loud it was barely tolerable, and Marilyn Manson didn’t stop for the next 90 minutes.  That was an entrance.  That made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.  It’s important to note here that I’m not particularly a Manson fan.  I don’t care for the lyrics generally, and I’m not a fan of, “weird for the sake of weird.” I am a fan of live music, and I have a rule that I’ll see anyone once.

I’ve seen thousands of shows.  Stadium and arena shows to me always carry an air of anticipation to see how the, “artist” comes out.  How do they make their grand entrance?  I’ve seen drums fall from the rafters  Lead singers appear in mist.  Bands make their way to the stage from in the crowd.  Singers lowered in. . .  I’ve seen so many exciting entrances to a show.

Then there was tonight.  A 200 foot tall double-sided screen was fixed to a rotating base in the middle of the stage.  The lights went out, the screen flickered and rotated.  Occasional images of Beyoncé flashed and filled the screen.  The crowd screamed every time they saw her face.  Smoke filled the stage as the screen was 90 degrees from its starting point (after it had made several full rotations).  Beyoncé and her dancers just walked in.  In formation.  To, “Formation.”

It felt lackluster to me.  The bass was crushing, but it was canned.  There was no live instrumentation.  It was tracked.  I wondered if the vocals were tracked too.  The crowd sang more of the first song than she did.  The crowd seemed to be into it, and I appreciated that, but I wasn’t.  I tried.  I tried really hard.

I made it an hour.  The same dance moves repeated in different costumes.  There was a lot of crotch and butt on the screen.  The fans were blowing hair all over the place.  The screen rotated some more.  Beyoncé sang some more.  It just never got, “good” to me.

I had a hard time with the no musicians thing.  There was a drummer and a guitar player who played brief, solo interludes while Beyoncé changed costumes, but the show itself was taped.

Having just released, “Lemonade” I felt like this was an extension of that, “experience.”  She released a, “visual album” and this seemed to repeat many of the #feels from that.  That was my problem though, I could have stayed at home and seen this.

I made it an hour.  I looked at my companion and was asked, “you good?  I’ve been ready for about half an hour.”  12 of us left at the same time.  On the way out I heard someone say, “this is my third show of hers and by far the worst.”  I was comforted in the fact that I was not alone in thinking it was lacking.

I get it.  She’s not my bag.  She isn’t my go-to artist, and aside from my moments of release alone in the car with no one watching while I scream, “Irreplaceable” or, “Survivor” I rarely listen to her.  (Omit this–never admit this–not even to your friends).  I also know that she does it for some people.  I hope this was enjoyed by those that do.  Sincerely.  I know one couple who have really been looking forward to tonight and I hope it was the best show they’ve seen this year.

For me though, this show now holds the spot of the worst show I’ve ever seen.  Congratulations, Rufus Wainwright…you’ve been dethroned.

 

Beyonce has a mad.

Beyonce has a mad.

“Lemonade.”

Apparently it’s a visual album.  Whatever that means.  Can it be an album if it’s visual?  Whatever, that’s by far secondary to anything else, Beyoncé real mad.  Real mad.

Apparently, life (or maybe more appropriately Jay-Z) gave her some lemons so she made an album, “Lemonade”

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This, “album” on my fist pass seems to point to the fact that Sean Carter has stepped out on the lovely Beyoncé, and she seems none too pleased with her man.

Some Lyrics:

“You can taste the dishonesty/It’s all over your breath as you pass it off so cavalier/But even that’s a test/Constantly aware of it all/My lone ear pressed against the walls of your world/Prayin’ I catch you whispering/I’m prayin’ you catch me listening. . .” (Pray You Catch Me)

“Something don’t feel right cause it ain’t right/Especially comin’ up after midnight/I smell your secret, and I’m not too perfect to ever feel this worthless/How did come down to this?/Going through your call list/I don’t wanna lose my pride. but I’ma f**k me up a b**ch/Know that I kept it sexy and know I kept I fun/Theres something that I’m missing maybe my head for one” (Hold Up)

“Who the f**k do you think I is?/You aint married to no average b**ch boy/ you can watch my fat ass twist boy/As I bounce to the next d**k boy/And keep your money, I got my own/Get a bigger smile on my face bing alone…” (Don’t Hurt Yourself feat. Jack White)

“Dos you want to say you’re sorry/Now you want to call me crying/Now you gotta see me wilding/Now I’m the one that’s lying/And I don’t feel bad about it/It’s exactly what you get/Stop interrupting my grinding/I ain’t thinking ’bout you/Sorry, I ain’t sorry/I ain’t thinking ’bout you…” (Sorry)

“Ten times out of nine, I know you’re lying/But nine times outta ten, I know you’re trying/So I’m trying to be fair and you’re trying to be there and to care/And you’re caught up in your permanent emotions/All the loving I’ve been giving goes unnoticed/It’s just floating in the air, lookie there/Are you aware you’re my lifeline, are you trying to kill me?/If I wasn’t me, would you still feel me?/Like on my worst day?/Or am I not thirsty enough?/I don’t care about the lights or the beams/Spend my life in the dark for the sake of you and me. . .” (Love Drought)

“We built sandcastles that washed away/I made you cry when I walked away/And although I promised that I couldn’t stay/Baby, every promise don’t work out that way/Dishes smashed on my counter from our last encounter/Pictures snatched out the frame/B**ch, I scratched out your name and your face/What is it about that I can’t erase, baby?/Well every promise don’t work out that way. . .” (Sandcastles)

“Found the truth beneath your lies/And true love never has to hide/I’ll trade your broken wings for mine/I’ve seen your scars and kissed your crime/. . .Give you some time to prove that I can trust you again. . . (All Night)

There are 12 tracks on this album and at least 10 of them have the feel of a jilted lover.  10.  So like I said, Beyoncé has a mad.

Theme aside, the album is. . .good?  I’m admittedly not the world’s biggest Beyoncé fan, but that doesn’t change the fact that she is a force in the music industry.  She’s a, “thing” and like her or not, her abilities in her craft have to be respected.

If you’re a fan of her’s, then this album is going to be right up your alley.

Interesting side note:  right in the middle of the album is a country track.  I’ll give that a second to sink in.  Yeah, a country track.  “Daddy Lessons” is absolutely a country track and might be the best overall tune on the album.  If it isn’t, it’s a close second only to, “Sandcastles.”  Both tracks are well crafted musically and lyrically.  Other standouts include, “Don’t hurt yourself” (but that’s probably because its Jack White), and The Weeknd lays support on another great track, “6 Inch.”

I’ve heard it (and seen it??) now, and like most of her work, there’s only a track or two that I’ll go back to, but it is certainly interesting–not only as a visual album, but as an outright angry piece of work.

Worth checking out, but for me, not worth owning.  It’s a solid 3 out of 5 stars.

Check it out here:  Tidal, or for the rest of the day today (Sunday 4/24/16 on HBO Now, or HBO GO).

 

The Time I made that woman cry in Bed Bath & Beyond

No good deed goes unpunished. Went to Bed Bath and Beyond for Dad this morning to check to see if they had an item in stock. A specific K-Cup coffee maker. This conversation occurs in the area of the coffee makers as i’m standing in front of the k-cup pots:

“You know you’re killing the environment with those machines right?”
I turn slowly unsure if the shrill voice is directed at me, “You talking to me ma’am? Because I’m looking at coffee makers.”
“Yes, those K-cup machines kill the environment.”
“Ma’am, do you just hang out here in Bed Bath and Beyond to protest the purchase of coffee makers?”
“No, but I saw you over here and hoped I’d help save the environment.”
“Interesting, so what kind of hybrid do you drive?”
“I drive a non hybrid Subaru, but it is zero emissions.”
I smile from ear to ear and say, “ma’am, that’s not possible. An internal combustion engine is not zero emissions.”
“BUT I PAID EXTRA FOR A ZERO EMISSIONS CAR.”
“Well, that’s fantastic for you, but you might as well have paid for an invisible jet. You got neither.”
“I paid an extra $3,000 for zero emissions.”
“Does it have a tail pipe?”
“Yes, I actually just had the muffler replaced.”
“What do you think it’s there for–the tailpipe? Why do you think that’s a part of the engineering of the car? Do you think Subaru put it there for looks or do you think that pipe actually emits the exhaust from your gasoline powered engine? Maybe you should worry a little bit more about your carbon footprint and a little bit less about mine.”
“But I paid extra. . .” starts tearing up.
“Ma’am I’m terribly sorry you got duped, but I have k-cups to brew and immediately throw the plastic shell into the garbage. Have an excellent day driving your pollution machine around the greater Raleigh-Durham area. Do you know where the spray deodorant is located? “

I’m not the one to randomly protest to. I’m just not the one. THE MACHINE WASN’T EVEN FOR ME.